Drug Dealers and Math Equations

A couple of months ago, my aunt Darlene from Whiteville, TN called us. She and her husband, Paul Overholt, and their family live in the same community as Grandpa. Several years ago, Grandpa and Grandma moved out of the farm house into a new one-story retirement-type home they built.

Darlene rented the old farm house to a "well-dressed, polite man from Memphis." She was really impressed with him. One day this "nice" man answered the door and a young unidentified man pointed a shotgun at him and started shooting. The renter ran back into the house and climbed up on the kitchen counter and into the sink. He tried to crawl out the kitchen window (the same window where Grandma stood at to do the dishes, the same counter that I played under as a kid.); he failed because the window was too small, but he did manage to splatter the whole kitchen with blood in the process. He finally ran thru the pantry and out the mudroom. He ran over to the neighbor's house despite three shotgun wounds in his head. He collapsed on the neighbor's car port. They immediately called 911, and then called Paul's. The assaliant took off. They choppered Mr. Renter to Memphis. The local yokel Sheriffs searched the house and found it stuffed with Marijuana. The Sheriffs, instead of impounding Mr. Renter's possessions (as the FBI does), said that it all belonged to Grandpa now. He got a widescreen TV with only a single shotgun pellet through the plastic part of the case (the TV still worked) and a little bit of blood splattered on it. He also got a couple of new couches, a bedroom suite, and lotsa expensive clothes (the types of nice/expensive clothes that a Beachy minister wouldn't be seen dead in).

As my 12 year old cousin was helping clean up, she found a couple of thousand dollars in cash in the bedside stand that the cops had missed. Meanwhile Mr. Drug Dealer Renter was not put under guard in the hospital. He excaped cleanly.

The next evening the assaliant came back with several gallons of gas, sloshed it around and lit a match. He started the fire in the attic. The firefighters got it out in time to find more charred Marijuana in the attic. The cops never looked up there. Later Grandpa found some Marijuana plants out in the barn. In the end Grandpa didn't get his TV or furniture, and I was left with an extreme sense of police incompetence (let guy escape from Hospital, didn't find that money, didn't find Marijuana in attic or barn, didn't anticipate the torching).

---

Slashdot asked its readers for their favorite math equations, here are some of my favorite responses:

One my calc teacher showed me:

Sin x / n = 6

The logic of this was that the n on the bottom cancelled out the n on the top so the result was Six.

1+1=10:

There are 10 kinds of people: those who understand binary and those who don't.

Women = Evil:

Here's my favorite:

First we state that women require time and money:
Women = Time x Money

And as we all know “time is money”
Time = Money

Therefore by substituting Money for Time we get:
Women = Money x Money
Women = (Money)^2

And because “money is the root of all evil” we therefore can state:
Money = (Evil)^1/2
And Since
(Money)^2 = Women
Then (Money)^2 = Evil

And we are forced to conclude by substituting "women" for "(money)^2" from above that:
Women = Evil

Can't argue with mathematical proof!

0 = 0:

My favorite is 0 = 0, because it's the one that most often indicates you're done with the math exercise. :-)

Re:0 = 0:

Conversely, my "favorite" is 1 = 0, because it means that you get to spend another 5 minutes figuring out what you did wrong.